How your triggers can lead YOU to peace

As a recovering "control freak," I can tell you when things felt a bit out of control in my life in the past, it was often very triggering for me. 

Feeling powerless can be emotionally triggering in any painful situation when you are not healthily processing your emotions. Therefore, whether welcomed or not, the "Inner Controller" in us will often poke its head out to keep us safe when things feel out of sorts.

If you've ever gone through a divorce, lost a loved one, laid off from a job, or had a significant life change, you can probably relate to this feeling.

The shock can feel like a thunderstorm in your gut. 

Your blueprint of life gets shattered, and it's hard to focus and relax. Your nervous system is more often dysregulated due to a significant life event that invites triggers to be your new daily sidekick.

It can feel like Groundhog Day and a repeating pattern of just getting through another day. 

After my late husband's tragic death in May 2022, my inner world didn't feel safe for a while. I had a hard time relaxing and concentrating.

Yet, the competitor side of me was like, let's figure this shit out and feel better now! However, it took my body time to catch up. 

You see, when we hold onto stressors. Hold in an emotion/felt sensation, don't allow our voice to be heard, ignore, and manage our anxiety, depression, etc. We fuel ourselves with chaos and what is called nervous system dysregulation.

When we experience a sudden loss, our mind will try to figure out what happened and why...

It's normal for this to happen, especially when there is no preparation. Yet, we DON'T want to get stuck here.

In the intense times of my grief of losing my husband, in the "why did this happen stage," it was essential to process my emotions, so they didn't get stuck.

That meant getting into my body (meaning I needed to feel my stuff) to process those emotions and sensations. It's not easy when your usual default is to escape and numb.

I remember a few weeks after his death, I got triggered by something someone said that brought me back to the moment of finding my husband. It felt like holy terror was the best way to describe it, and it was too painful to stay in such a state.

Being trauma-informed, I knew it was vital for me to move the intense emotions I was feeling.

So, I got primal AF and let it out! I screamed, cried, cursed, and voiced what I wasn't able to get out during the painful event. I ripped the Band-Aid off and allowed myself to feel it all. It was a massive release, and my body felt regulated the next day. I finally felt a sense of ease.

Honestly, it felt like a miracle! Believe it or not, the person who triggered me was an angel in disguise and a blessing, helping me trigger those stuck emotions so I could unravel them. 

I genuinely believe God equipped us with the ability to regulate our bodies and heal, yet somehow, we've forgotten along the way. When we pay attention, our triggers are clues that can lead to our healing. 

We all have triggers – situations or people that push our buttons and make us angry, anxious, or upset.

And we can all bounce back regardless of what has happened or who has triggered us.

We got this!